I have.
I was in a relationship where I was told that I would be "traded in for a newer and younger model".
Hearing those words so often, and then being cheated on really damages a person.
I'm strong. And if you know me, I would hope that you would think that way too.
But I am damaged.
And sometimes those insecurities haunt me.
Sometimes they overpower me.
I do my best to overcome those feelings.
I am fully aware that not everyone is the same.
I am fully aware that you cannot treat people a certain way because of past relationships.
I am fully aware that not every guy is trying their hardest to get in the pants of some "newer and younger model" like my ex was.
But the fact that my heart was betrayed on multiple levels multiple times, my demons sometimes get the best of me.
I know that I am not the best person out there.
I know that I am not the prettiest, or the smartest, or have the best body.
But I am me.
I am a good person, and I am proud of the person that I have become.
I guess what I am trying to say, is that I'm no Miss America; I'm no model.
But I'm pretty awesome.
I didn't deserve the treatment that was given to me.
But I need to really work on my insecurities.
Not everyone is going to be "out to get me".
There are loyal and faithful people, like myself, out there.
And that just because you haven't heard from someone all night, doesn't mean that they don't care.
I'm damaged goods, but I wouldn't be the strong person, the loving person that I am today without being damaged.
<3 Jess
