I wanna grow old with you.....

I cannot begin to tell you how many people in the past month have asked me why I am single.

And the fact of the matter is, I don't know. 

I am perfectly happy doing my "single girl swag". 

I like the fact that I don't have to keep "tabs" on someone, and that no one keeps "tabs" on me. 

But I am a romantic, and my heart is ready to share love. 

I miss being able to spend quality time with someone who cares about me, just as much as I care for them. 

I miss being able to care for someone. 

I'm talking about being their shoulder/ear for when the have had a bad day, to prepare a home cooked meal for them after a long day at work, to be the reason that they smile.

I miss that. 

I miss companionship. 

As much as I would love a relationship and to be able to give someone my all again, I'm not going to settle. 

This time around, I know what I deserve and I don't want to be blind sighted by infatuation. 

I want chemistry, compatibility, and companionship. 

In the end, I really want someone to grow old with. 

When people ask me the dreaded question "so, do you have a boyfriend?" I cringe when I tell them no and see the look of shock on their face. 

Am I missing something here?

Am I supposed to have a boyfriend? 

And then I think.... 

Is there something wrong with me that does not qualify me to be a candidate for a partner? 

Yes, I know that I'm still in the middle of my divorce. 

No, I will never ever EVER go back to him, even for the sake of my son. 

Yes, I know that being a single mom is probably not so desirable for some. But trust me, I didn't plan on being one, but I'll never change it for a second.

No, I do not have the body of a model. But my heart is the biggest you'll ever see/meet, and I'm the most loyal person ever. 

I know this probably sounds like I am saying "someone, anyone, just love me", but that is far from the case. 

My time on Earth (like yours) is precious and limited. I don't want to waste my time with just anyone. 

I have a right to be picky about who I spend my time with. 

So, by all means, I'm not looking for the first guy to walk my way and start planning a wedding.

I want someone who shares dreams, goals, and ambitions with me, and has their own. 

Like I said before, I want someone who I can grow old with and still be madly in love with them till the day I die. 

I want someone who will not only be a lover, but a best friend.

I know that I'm not an easy person.

I'm stubborn, forgetful, and far from perfect. 

But, whoever you are, wherever you are, I promise till my dying days that I will give 200% into a relationship, and stand beside you through the darkest storms, and bask in your glow when you see the light. 

My heart will forever be yours.

That is a promise you can count on.

♥Jess♥